hej ni alla!
nyt vihdoin sain netin toimimaan. eilen jonotin kaks tuntia jotta sain itselleni ip-osoitteet ja muut paskat. sit en ees meinannu saada koko hommaa toimimaan, ku en oo mikään nero. koitin siis väärälle verkkokortille laittaa niitä tietoja (tai jotain, en tiedä.) tänään sit meinasin myöhästyä ensimmäisestä "virallisesta" jutusta, kun sain netin toimimaan just ennenku piti lähteä. hehee.
eli tänään oli sellainen wellcome-"luento", joka oli tosi turha. siellä oli joku poliisi kertomassa että täällä ei saa käyttää huumeita. jep jep. ja sit joku ruotsin ope opettamassa "hej!" "jag heter..." "jag kommer från...". siinä se sit olikin aikalailla. no loin mä siellä lähes ekat kontaktini täällä.. yllättäen suomalaisiin. ja sehän ei ollu se pointti, mutta mun viereen sattu istumaan sellainen tyttö. sitten kun piti vieruskaverilta kysyä "vad heter du" niin sen nimi oli katriina. sit olin vaan "ootko suomalainen?" ja olihan se. ja vieläpä jyväskylän yliopistosta. että on taas maailma pieni.
mutta täytyy kyllä sanoa, että ei täällä hirveesti pidetä huolta vaihtareista. on toki samantapainen buddy-programme kun suomessakin, mutta se että kuulut johonki ryhmään ei välttämättä millään tavoin tarkota sitä, että mitään järjestettäis. mä nyt olen siitä onnellisessa asemassa, että tuossa kohta pitää lähteä kahville ryhmän kanssa (jos sinne nyt si ketään tulee), mutta esim katriinan buddysta ei oo kuulunu mitään. lisäks joillekin on tullu tietoa kaikenmaailman pubikierroksista ja peli-illoista. mulle ei mitään. en oikeen tajua. ois ihan hirveen kiva osallistua kaikkeen mahdolliseen, jotta tutustuis ihmisiin, kun ei se nyt noin vaan tunnu onnistuvan. kämppiksistä oon tavannu kolme. kaks ruotsalaista tyttöä ja yks saksalainen, ihan mukavia tyyppejä, mutta ei niitäkään oikeen nää, kun kukaan ei ees halua käyttää tota keittiöö kun se on aika kälynen ja sotkunen ja täynnä roinaa. sovittiin kyllä että siivotaan se ja sit järkätään bileet, joissa pitää juoda yks joka kämpässä. saas nyt sit vaan nähdä, koska sekin toteutuu.
kaupunkina tää on kyllä tosi kiva. oon tuhlannu jo aika paljon rahaa, mutta en vielä yli varojeni. löysin maailman parhaan levykaupan ja sit sellaisen putiikin, jossa myydään bändipaitoja ym. tunnelma täällä on vähän sellainen, mitä ruotsista odottikin. kaupungilla kun kävelee, niin kyllä välillä tuntee olonsa jotenkin vähän sottaiseksi, kun tuntuu, että sellaiset rokimmatkin tyypit on tosi sliipattuja.. mutta en mä kyllä silti aio muuttua sliipatuksi. olenhan suomalainen. hehee.
tosiaan eka juttu, jonka onnistuin täällä tekemään oli se, että hukkasin rahapussini. jätin sen lentokenttäbussiin. iski pieni paniikki. menin sitten hienolla ruotsintaidollani turisti-infoon sönkkäämään. raahasin perässäni 23,5 kiloista matkalaukkua ja selässäni 8 kiloista reppua. infon täti alkoi soitella puheluita eikä oikeesti menny kun ehk 10 minuuttia, niin sain tietää että mun rahapussi on sen bussifirman jossain toimistossa. mulle toki näytettiin kartalta missä se on, eikä se nyt ollu ees kauheen kaukana. mutta tietty eksyin matkalla. onneks jotkut kiltit miehet opasti mua. olin siinä vaiheessa jo ihan kuollu... sit kun pääsin sinne toimistoon asti, en tosiaan löytäny sitä paikkaa mihin mun piti mennä. taas lisää ruotsin sönkkäystä. lopulta sain kuitenki rahapussini takaisin, eikä puuttunut kun jotain 500kr (eli 50 e). kävi hiton hyvä säkä, että se ylipäänsä löytyi ja että sieltä ei ollu viety mitään muuta, meinaa siellä oli kuitenki 1800kr, hieman euroja ja ihan kaikki mun kortit ja muut. tuon jälkeen oon kyllä tarkistanu jatkuvasti onko mulla kaikki tallella...
kun vihdoin pääsin taksiin löysin asukastoimiston helposti ja sain helposti myös avaimeni ja vieläpä kämppäkin löytyi hetkessä. on tää kyllä yllättävän kiva. huone on isompi kun odotin ja oma vessa ja suihku löytyy, eikä nekään oo niin kauheet kun ois voinu olettaa. hieman ankeahan tämä on, kun ei oo mitään sisustusjuttua.. eilen sitten hieman siirtelin huonekaluja ja ripustin bändipaitani seinälle. nyt on ees vähän kodikkaampi olo.
kohta tulee kamala kiire sinne kahville, joten täytyy lopettaa. hejdå!
Well, if you can decipher this message, you must leave a comment and tell me what the following says:
Snoitalutargnoc,uoy evah dekrow tuo tahw siht egassem snaem. Morf won no, uoy nac rehpiced tahw eht gniwollof segassem yas. Yeht lliw eb Ho-Ig-Uy kced stsil. Yats denut.
Eyb
i would want to be a quiet person now.....i'd only show who i am to my closet friends....and Vanessa and Vaneza is out of that catagory....... If vanessa havn't told jeremy to change then i wouldn't be hurt this much.....i wouldn't havee to suffer like this.....i would have recodnise him.....he will still be the Brat i knew...... for Vaneza....i know that she's annoyed of me....i know that she hates me.....i know that she just wants to say "go away freak!" just like everyone i knew....
A Quiet person.....all i ever wanted to be....all i wished to be.....not emo....just quiet...
Later
Well. SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPEND! since the last time ive been on here...that boy i was talkin to last..we dated..he was more than just a normal boy && i figured that out not in a well way. im not even too sure what happend still to this day..the middle of summer happend. he found a hotter girl..who didnt want him like i wanted him. but thats his mistake. in a way i felt like i made some BIG mistakes with him..i didnt know how to handle this 19 year old male who wants sex all the time. but i remember that night hanging out with him ..when he cut it off between us, as in dating. he tried to be so casual with it but i knew what that ass was going for. "this is our last night together so lets fuck" thats not the way he said it but thats how i heard it. but after him..i tried to be more cautious but theres been a few boys ive made out with..thats it..since him. he was my last serious deal. i need another one. its been too long && im not one to usually say that. but all these boys that i made out with...were for the wrong reason. i was using them for money, weed, drugs, alcohol...ya know the deal. i hooked up with 2 dealers..&& i got the deal...but wouldnt ever want a relationship with them. my mom would kill me if she found out i was datin the 20 year old mexican mafia dealer...the other one being 22...the 20 year old was sweet though...&& i might've but it wouldve been something on the low. my sisters couldnt even know. but then he disappeared the lene tex && like other mexican mafia drug dealers..they had warrants out the ass && couldnt get caught, so he said he was going out of town && he would be back but he never was. i would get random phone calls from him && we would talk forever..id let him know everything goin down in town..the business && what not.
but im falling apart...gaining weight which doesnt make sense..i guess because im not in sports anymore. i wanna live those days we were living last year at this time. i cant take this reminiscing anymore! it drives me nuts. i dont even party that much anymore..if u call sitting at your house drinkin with a few folks partyin then i am but thats not what i consider partying in my eyes. ive become a drug dealer in most peoples eyes. just get that little quick && make money && smoke for free. i feel as if school is going down drain too..but the grades dont show it. im making it. attendance shows it though..i cant help it! ugh! i cant write about my life anymore.
I actually woke up at almost 10 this morning; it felt really good. I really didnt know what i was going to do with myself. I ended up running errands- getting munchies and shower neccessities.
Steven called me while i was out. he didnt know if he'd be able to talk to me later because he was giving a talk. Said he was getting all dressed up and stuff. I bet he would look so handsome in a nice tailored suit. with his stylish armani glasses. mmmm very hot.
i ended up taking a nap when i got home and its just going to mess up me when i have to go to sleep. It's bad enough that i'm going to being all uppity cuz tomorrow is first day of school.
Talked to steven after dinner and he was being so cute. Things started to get a little hot..... i can't wait to see him. I want to feel his lips on mine.. feel his arms around me. it really sucks. he told me that he knew he wanted to be with me right when he saw me. Love at first sight!! he definitely felt the chemistry... i'm glad...
Exodus 19:1 - 21:36
It's amazing because this weekend we were talking about things that get in the way of our relationship with God, and today's daily devotion talks about idols and the things we do that distract us from God. In today's passage there is the Ten Commandments. The first one being, "Do not worship any other gods besides me." This weekend at retreat I decided to give up most of the television shows and things that I had been watching. I would like to be able to completely give up watching tv but for now giving up the bad shows that were teaching me that it's okay to be like the world is sufficient. I've given up the shows that I used to think I would die without watching. I haven't died yet. I have already turned my music over to God, now I have turned the television over. Homer Allison, the speaker and the retreat, was very in your face, but I loved it. I liked that he didn't skirt around the truth. He knew what God said was okay and he taughtwhat God said wasn't okay. If you ever have the chance to hear him, he is one of the best speakers I have ever heard. He's amazing. He encouraged us to tell our "Jesus Story" and even gave us a chance to get rid of the negatives in our lives that distract us from God.We were all given a square tile. On that tile we were supposed to write things that are blocking our relationship with God. We were supposed to write the things we wanted to break away from. When we were finish writing, we were to go to the pond and throw the tiles in. We were giving it away 3 times. The first was when we prayed about it. The second was when we actually threw it away into the lake. And the third was when the water washed the tiles clean. I think that is amazing to think about. When I threw that tile into the water I felt a burden lifted. Not the whole burden, but a part that I thought I would never get rid of.
heyy
well i'm in high school now it's good to be in high school it's fun and enjoyable and some people might think that there work is to hard or your teachers and to mean but to be honest your high school teachers just wont you to pass so give them a break all they wont you to do is pass so you can have a good future and .................for the kids that are going to be starting high school next year and are like really scared don't be because all you should think about is that your going to make it and your going to have friends and i promise you that and if you find yourself not making friends then all you have to do is join aclub see when i was first starting i thought that i was never going to make any friends because i was like the loser at my old school but theni saw that i knew some peoplein my class from my other school then i think about a moth ago i was hanging around at lunch time and the wrestling coach came up to me and said would you like to try out for the team and i thought well it's weird and dumb but then i thought and then i said to myself well it's somthing new and somthing i might enjoy and i went and know i have lots of friends all you have to do is believe and put yourself out there so high school will be fun just don't drop out and don't start doing anything bad and go on the wrong path because it's not even worth it
well bye....jill
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tracey52789 36, Female, Ohio, USA - 6 entries
cancermoonchild 45, Female, California, USA - 32 entries
